rosiehardyMy (last) letter
Nowhere, December 1st
Amor, You were so unexpect as I always knew the best things in life are, you came to me as an easy, simple breeze and stayed there; when I had already given up on you, even before trying. You were the one who made me go an step forward and look how far we've come? I got to love you faster and stronger than ever before, I've given you more than I thought I was ready to give.
I never pictured myself with someone so different to me, but in you I found the calm I normally don't have, the silence I need, the reason I lack, the innocence I lost, the faith I sought, the protection I wanted; you gave so many things I didn't know I was missing and which made me a better person.
But our differences pushed me away too, there where so many times when I could feel your rejection, so many times I could feel you put a wall between us and the wounds haven't healed yet. A wall you couldn't or didn't wanted to explain, a wall I hit every time I tried to get closer to you.
Now I'm tired, I'm tired of you not seeing me, tired of you ignoring me, tired of you letting me believe there's something wrong with me when maybe there's something wrong with "us". And just when I was questioning "us" you lie to my face, that was enough, I gave up on you right there.
I couldn't hide it, it was broken; there was not loving little me anymore, I didn't want to talk to you, I didn't want to see you and this is just the next step. You don't let me love you and I'm not strong enough to keep fighting anymore.
I haven't stopped loving you, that's why it's so hard to leave you; but sometimes I wonder if I can be happy with someone who treats me like I am "a perfectly normal human being".
This is my last screaming I hope you can hear me.
Your answer: "I can´t hear you, I can see you"
;-) Ganaste!
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Feeling: Expectating
